Clint Costa - The Manager
I have always been a well-known manager for quite a while. I can't help that I’m just the best out there. Along my path to becoming a manager, I’ve made many friends and had many inspirations. But to every person, there’s always a story. And this one is mine.
It all started when my parents decided to have children. It wasn’t a pretty scene, but let’s just say that I was conceived at a gas station, and BBQ sauce was involved. When my mom was giving birth to me, I was one tough hombre. I had to fight my way out. It was one intergalactic journey. Growing up, I was one uncontrollable child, always bouncing off the walls. I would constantly make a mess with both my food and my toys, very often at the same time. I loved food when I was a kid, especially bananas. Mother would get them all the time. I guess I can say that it’s because of a banana that made me pursue being a manager.
It all started on my 8th birthday. I woke up early on a Tuesday morning to open some presents and get my breakfast on. Because it was a beautiful April morning, I took a step outside and took a big breath in and out to get a feel of the nice weather. I noticed that my neighbor was leaving to go to work, so I gave him a wave, while he replied with snapping his finger and pointing at me. I gave a big smile because I felt so chill. I saw my neighbor enter his SUV and turn the ignition. KABOOMER. The vehicle explodes instantly. My eyes widened as I hurried over there to check it out. I pulled my neighbor out of the car and checked his pulse. He unfortunately didn’t make it. I pulled out my cellular and called 9-1-1. There was an ambulance on the way. I was very curious on what caused the SUV to explode. I walked around the flaming car. I saw something yellow in muffler. I reached in there and pulled it out. I realized that it was a banana. My neighbor passed away because of a banana in a muffler.
The feeling I felt that day was so real. I witnessed something so unreal that it’s unimaginable. It took a big impact to my life. Because he passed away, it made me want to save lives. It made me want to manage.
I went through high school as an average student. I didn’t play any sports. I instead took classes on business. I had many friends throughout high school and being with them was a blast. We would stay up watching Doomhouse. Yea, I almost crapped out donkeys because of it. We would also watch Different Strokes and other television things that consisted of Gary Coleman. Good Stuff.
When I hit college, I was still taking business classes. I took Personal Management, Health Management, and Business Management. I went to many colleges because I needed to feed more information on Management. I learned how to save lives, how to become a manager, and how to run a business of my own.
In college I would party like its 1999. id turn up the volume and bass to good music and just run around screaming things like “zeebabudooboparoogarahababababahhh” There were also times that I woke up and don’t remember what I did the previous night. I could never figure out why I had my dick stuck inside a beer bottle. Damn it was pretty difficult to get off. My wawaweewa was aching for weeks.
After college I got my masters in Pure Management. This was simply everything there is to know about management. I needed to find a job after college but I didn’t know where to look. One day I decided to go for a walk at the park, to open my mind on things. I saw a guy sitting on the bench crying his dirty balls off. I went over and asked him what was going on. He said that his family passed away and he didn’t know what to do. I got on my knees and told him that he’s going to be ok. I said “hey buddy, I’m about to be your manager”. He laid out the moolah and I fixed his problems in no time, meaning, I bought him a new family. After helping that man, I felt as if I should manage more people than just him. I had decided to create a business called IM ABOUT TO BE YOUR MANAGER Inc. and there, people walked through the door with a frown on their face as I greeted them with, “hey how ya doing buddy, I'm about to be your manager.” And after a bit of time, they would walk out the door with a smile bigger than a boner on steroids
Creating that business was amazing. And it brought great interests to me. I wanted to learn how to cook. I wanted to cook like a king, and be king of the castle. So I went back to college and took cooking classes. Making food was pleasantly delicious. There were times that I messed up, but because of those mistakes, I became a better cook. There actually was an incident while I was making subs. I was getting some oil and vinegar to put on this very good-looking sub. And accidentally I slipped on a banana peel that was on the ground. The oil and vinegar got all over my pants, right straight in the crotch. Everybody made fun of me. I got really mad and embarrassed. I looked at everybody and screamed, “Hey, I’m gunna be yo managa!” they all got scared and ran away like they had the runs.
After mastering in cooking I wanted to make a business in some form of cooking. One night I went out fine dining. I skimmed through the menu and didn’t see anything interesting. The waiter asked what kind of food I wanted. I replied by saying to surprise me. He came out with a plate that seemed to be meat. I took a bite and swallowed. It was pleasantly delicious. It brought wonders to my mind. I asked the waiter what it was. He said it was baked baby. I was quite surprised. It was something about it that just clicked, it wasn’t clear at first. A while later, it came to me. I wanted to start a baby bakery. So I did so, and named it the Baby Bakery Inc. And at the Baby Bakery, I was manager. At this bakery, people came in and had some pleasantly delicious food.
After creating the bakery, I continued the business and kept being Manager. Which is where I am today. It was quite a journey to get where I am. It was no skip down to the schoolyard. But me and Julio tend to do so sometimes.
So there you go everybody, the tale of the manager. I hope it served your time well. If you ever need any kind of management, just let me know. I will be at your service. Having you read this was a pleasure. Konichiwa, and have a pleasant tomorrow!